Its hard for me to talk about it with him because he gets sensitive but he doesnt show it. He said he wants to make this relationship work but he cant even communicate which is important. I know how hard it is to let go, but you can do it. I just want to have a nice time, an interesting conversation. WebYes bare minimum but extra behaviors from a coworker. He was so understanding and apologized for the lack of communication and promised to try his best to communicate more. But I decided to tell my bf what makes me happy. Putting yourself out there to even carry on with friends will feel more exhausting each time till you get to the point where you just want anyone in your life at all. I was the one initiating our relationship and I feel like he thinks just being there is enough for me. This isnt a man. He compromised but I guess his old self is back .Ive not heard from him today as well.I would understand if he was unwell,Id appreciate it if he could atleast send me even a short message so I wouldnt get so worried. I get everyday but we go like 3 weeks to a month to once a month. i would say hes a selfish person because all he cares is himself. You deserve better and it sounds line hes managing down your expectations. Except for the kissing part and in my case i see him even less (once a month) but in my case he lost several family members since Ive known him so i know hes dealing with that. And he is never sorry because he can justify it no matter how stupid. His answer was, Havent I been patient enough? it was boring and dull. I dont know what to do. The one girl has sent him particularly sweet friendly messages on Whatsapp a few times so Im even more jealous than I already was. I make sure I put into the relationship as much as I get. is dealing with the pressure of having other things on their mind, such as an achingly difficult work project or personal and/or familial issues that sap them of the energy to deal with little else. But have to understand yourself mentality first because if not you will lose yourself in the process. If you have never met in person then its more than enough reason to break up with him. He was very affectionate and gentle towards me and would make it a point to call me every day, the first maybe 2-3 months of our relationship. When a guy stops texting you it is likely to He knows more about me than I do apparently. He is perfect to me but like anyone else comes with problems. We ended up living together briefly because he did not want to be apart from me. But no. You have the power to change someone very important in your life. He has told me over and over that I need to stop. Thats not enough for any relationship! Just know youre not the only one feelings this Im not sure what is going on because I confront him about it and he says he just hasnt been on his phone. Maybe what you see as your boyfriends lack of effort is simply a normal part of being in a solid, comfortable relationship. This guy isnt my boyfriend but we met in a way that would almost seen like fate. Then keep being the fabulous person that you are. Ive been with him since july 2020 and its been rocky but its resolved and yeah there is zero effort to hang out and i have to initiate everything. He needs help but isnt able to take responsibility or accountability or doesnt care enough about maintaining the relationship I guess to do anything to make it work. Im a mum of one and I feel if we move in he will leave it all to me. He also gave his daughter my phone number so she could text me as she wasnt feeling well. He was fine with it so we just started to say it to each other. But I feel as though he does not see the page that I am on, is there any way I can do that without it being an argument? For example, his car broke down in a town more then an hour away. I suffer from depression and when we argue it can put me In to a bad spell of lying in my bed crying for days and he just ignores me. If you feel like hes avoiding you and youve tried to get his attention and it hasnt worked, then dont insist Thats for a few reasons. I COME HOME AT 6 PM AND THE TRASH IS STILL THERE. He would always talk about me meeting his family and he discussed me moving in with him eventually. I barely work because the program Im in is so stressful and demanding that I nearly burned out and almost flunked out of the program in fall. When i say effort drops off, he takes hours to reply to me despite being very active on social media and those replies are one word conversation enders, isnt bothered about spending time with me, tells me he is busy with his family, but I will find out hes actually with his friends, I plan days out in advance but he makes me aware he wont be able to attend because of workbut then when the time comes round to it, he is free but is going out with his friends in advance. First, the more you push, the more he will pull back, because whatever his reason is, the pressure from you wont help. I tried to talk to him about it multiple times, every time he would apologize and say he would be better, but he always fell back in the same routine. I go to his house on Sundays and help with his kids. I love this guy so much but I dont know what else to do, I dont want to live without him we have gotten so serious pretty fast. 3: like he hates me so much and it wont be long or difficult for someone he likes better to come along and replace me. Were both not yet married with our partners since both of our relationship with our partners is not okay. My fiance and I have been together for a year.. when we first got together he was so happy and kind to me.. but then there was all this stuff from his job getting him stressed out ..and bills, and family, and Im not sure what else..his last job he had a manager that spoke so poorly towards him and the other employees plus the customers. To me it seems like your boyfriend is causing your anxiety and making you feel down which is not okay at all. My boyfriend and I both 21 have been dating for almost 3 years and for almost 2 years he has been serving the military back home with only weekends to spare and while I am in Canada studying for almost a year. He told me he loved me within weeks of us meeting. Thats the way to get a I dont care, because Im awesome kind of attitude. I have a lot of questions, but no answers. At the beginning, I was super in love with him and I would put in so much effort. He loves the gym and usually chooses that over me, hanging out with his friends etc but then when we do actually spend time together hes all over me and appreciates me so much and makes me feel amazing. Im 55, I decided I can not live another minute in an unstable relationship. There is just nothing in return. I dont know what to do and need some advice. What do I talk about with my girlfriend? You dont deserve to be treated like nothing. No calling. High on mine, low on his. I tried talking to him about it and he was very dismissive with just an okay, I have been dating my boyfriend for over 3years now but he hasnt prioritized me..his family always comes first, whereas i do the most work, im there for him emotionally, physically financially sometimesbut I always come last on his list he is a good guy and he respects me and all but im jst tired cos he doesnt spend on me.Then i met another guy who will give me his eyeballs as soon as i ask for them but he is very disrespectful and selfish wen it comes to my feelings.. he is always the right one.. if I complain of being ignored till his convenience he jst ignores me some more and comes back to say Im sorry babe i love you and thats it..I really dont know what to do.. please help me. I recently just been promoted to a great job.. It is too immature an attitude for a 56 year old intelligent man. And then he apologize to me and said he just feel pitty of me. He doesnt call me much. So currently on the couch drinking a beer, eating leftovers from a 3 days ago (which is humorous because he could have at LEAST heated that up for me) and then all the sudden the dog jumps up at me. We do have a son together and me and him both work and I get home cook and clean and take care of our son while he just gets home everyday and relaxes he has embarrassed me many times in front of his family and friends When we barely got together I asked him what he would rate me 1-10 and he said a 6 and that really broke me. Same thing happened another day and another. Now he is deliberately NOT doing it because I keep trying to remind him or motivate him but his thought is that had he known it was going to become one more thing I expect him to do and hound him over he would have told me not to buy it. He took care of me when they pulled my wisdom teeth and he offered his family as my family (my immediate family is in Mexico so I always had to spend the holidays alone). months later of constant chats and calls he then confessed that he still love me and he was sorry for what happened in the past. Before that weve only met to chat, watch a movie or take a walk. Coz I know he loves me but I dont know what gets over him all of a sudden. Nothing. I dont know what he wants from me. he only paid for me once and he never surprises me with dates or buy gifts. Which I practically felt alone and excited to do things by myself. Been with my boyfriend 2 years.he told me he smokes pot, which than i said im not supporting your habbit (which i meant financially). Now, I dont know all the details of this, but I would say that hes pushing you away unintentionally while trying to cope with the loss of his father. Xx Be strong. We have amazing communication, we text all day everyday, see each other at least 1-2 days a week, we dont argue much, our sex life is greatMaybe its just because this is my only problem that it feels like a big deal? He said he had not thought about it and was not feeling well that day, so would think about it when he felt better and let me know in a few days. If youve been together for a long time (a 7 or 8 on that relationship scale at the beginning of this article), then maybe you can see that your boyfriend isnt making an effort because hes dealing with serious issues in other parts of his life. P.S. HE ACTED LIKE NOTHING HAPPENED. Let an iota of plea reflect. What he said was he passed out and decided to sleep at friends place because he was afraid of driving late. Oct 1, 2017 I was at the Rought 91 shooting in Vegas, Febr 2018 my husband at the time decided to go back to being a Jehovahs witness and puts a ton of stress on our 17 years of marriage, March 2018 get fired from new job of 2 months, July 2018 he cheats on me and divorces me. I would go on my off days when I wasnt in collehe classes or work. Maybes its best we leave it and not have to try so hard with the next person. Fast forward to after the trip, he rolled back into town and expected me to be completely free for him to come over to loaf around my apartment. He is separated with 4 kids and a selfish demanding ex wife who took everything she could from him while they were together. Thank you for what you said because not only do I relate to the emotional and psychological effects, I relate to the not wanting your house to look or smell like a GARBAGE CAN!!!! Also expected to cook, clean, do the laundry, take care of our pet. Because you are a happy individual yourself, he would feel lucky to share his life with you. :'(. Your Aries guy might not be texting you back because he doesnt enjoy small talk or having long conversations over text. You wish your boyfriend was as attentive and loving as he was at the beginning of your relationship. Btw he put his board in a form of a heart on his wall for me . When I first met him I didnt think I needed a relationship but now especially in this lockdown I feel a little empty and alone. I have shared my emotions and thoughts to him, he tells me Im over reacting, I am being silly and he is still fully interested in me. When ALL grocery stores near us are closed saying I dont feel like cooking tonight, we dont have all the ingredients so I say ok why is it that you didnt notice this when you got home from work when stores were open? After crying and getting rid of the emotional baggage, I realize now how fortunate I am to be out of that relationship. Im so sorry this happened to you. He used to call me at night before he sleeps,now he doesnt anymore,he takes days to reply my whatsapp messages. Am I expecting too much from him? There is someone else for you. I dont want to much. I told him 3 times that this has bothered me and he has made no effort to change this. Help. I asked when he might feel comfortable seeing me again. We talk on the phone usually three times a day. what is the project you have to work on together . He broke up with me because I was becoming emotionally unavailable and I always cried when I was with him. but i told him nah! You should definitely read the book why men love b*tches this really goes into depth on why men do that. my ex best friend told him everything and ever since then its been a nightmare. If hes not at work, hes in his reclyner n thats where he stays n doesnt get up unless he has to pee. Im not sure how to approach any of this with him. He dresses professionally. I said fine. I help him with college work a lot, and he often expresses to me how he feels so much calmer and relaxed when were together (which is true because his mood just completely changes and hes always so happy). So what I want to know is do this guy and me still have a chance to fix things? Most people reading this right now are probably thinking oh my god youre so young and u have so much time! What you talk about really does depend on the issues youre facing, how long youve been together, and why your boyfriend isnt making an effort in your relationship. i asked if he was going to write in his and he flipped his lid. Here, youll find several questions and tips to help you evaluate your relationship and make a good decision about your boyfriend. Then we signed our new real lease together and I dont know how we got where we got but he started getting lazy. Its amazing how identical to yours he is. When I got back to our dorm that night I ft him and told him it felt right but It was also an accident. He says sometimes he appreciates me but words mean nothing, actions do. My boyfriend and I have been going out for 8 months. Here are 5 reasons he stopped texting you: 1. I ask my boyfriend to do simple things like make me a coffee once in while, ask if i got home safe, tell me im beautiful, or just ask me on a date. If your S.O. Yesterday he said he had tried to write in his journal in the morning but it was took dark and did not want to wake me. Within the past 2 years. I understand law school is a rigorous program but for some reason he has been unhappy and stressed about everything that is going on in his life. and drags me with this idea too. Or also he went out and was feeling confused about the relationship where he didnt come home therefore he ended things in the morning after having a long night prob thinking about it. I dont think what Im asking for is difficult to do that it would take months to see any results. I guess in the end we need to decide if hes worth all this heartache. Start by letting go slowly. I have no family and feel really lonely. ive been always the understanding one. His excuse was that he had no time because of work. He also spends all is money on one of purchases like 600 pound shoes and then moans to borrow money while I foot the bill for car expenses etc.I feel like the only time he cuddles me is when he wants sex and if I have an excuse he immediately pulls away. Coming to the realization that a partner is no longer emotionally invested in your commitment isn't an easy pill to swallow, and it's definitely not something to ignore. he briefly mentioned his bad experience with exes, he had two years marriage and he said he felt it was too long. Sounds exactly like me and my ex. He regularly bought me presents and he showered me with compliments. He doesnt do the things he used to do. Thank you for taking the time to type the words in your comment. This yr it was Quarantine and so he always wanted to have his own anime character and I made it after puting so much efforts. He loves me and I love him. I asked him if he could pick me up some tea from the shop as I was unwell. He didnt court me. Forget it. I feel lonely and he NEVER wants to go out or do anything. to tell you honestly, im the one who makes effort for us to be together because he lives far away from me and i understand his conditon that he cant travel far.. im not a demanding partner all i want is for him to make little efforts to make me feel special and loved. we were back in the honeymoon stage for a few months and then he slowly started resenting me. But now everything is so plain and horrible. Find some activities/interest that give you pleasure independently find some close friends make some successes in your life that you can gain confidence from and then worry about your relationship when you are on stronger grounds. Around the 5th month, he asked me to be his girlfriend but then he quickly retracted it after realizing how serious we were about to be. But we got OUR place, he expects me to clean, cook, everything. Personally, I feel rejected when he doesnt make an effort.. I reslect to my culture. I have tried so many times to let the relationship go and have broken up with him, but he does not want to let me go. I met his mom for the first time when his parents stopped by, we took his dog paddle boarding. Thats was our first time seeing each other in person (granted, Id seen him randomly beforehand in elementary school years before that). Sometimes even i dont get it,If im asking for too much. He says he loves me but he just doesnt act like it. Find the courage to leave him! I love him so much but just dont understand why he doesnt care when I am upset. But he appriciate my participation in some kind of sexul things. Thats it. Its been bugging me for a while but I finally decided to do something about the fact that he doesnt really seem to make an effort to see me. I so desperately want a date once in a while wether its once a month so we can enjoy each other and so i can feel like hes doing something special with me AND so i wont go crazy spending every moment in the HOUSE. Youre not alone my girl xxx, My boyfriend and I have been dating for 2yrs now, everything was all good until the beginning of 2019,he started to distance himself from me, one day I received a text message from a strange number asking me if I know my boyfriend and if we are dating, I was calm and honest when I answered the text, I went to whatsapp and checked the number out and I saw the photo, it was a lady texting me, I asked her who she was and she said she was just a friend to my guy and she noticed that lately my guy has been stressed and she thought it was a lady stressing her, thats why she snooped on his phone and got my number, all this time I remained calm, thee following day I decided to go to my boyfriend house without informing him, it was around 10pm, I met with the same lady their, my guy was not around, I got inside the house and the lady went straight to sit at the bed while I was sitting at the chair, I couldnt wait any longer I went home, I couldnt get in touch with the guy on phone, his phone was off, the following day this same lady called me at around 7pm telling me that my boyfriend is sick, I went to his house and I found the lady with my guy sitting on the bed very close, I was still calm I said hi and I sat on the chair, this lady excused herself and left me with my guy, I asked him who was the lady and he told me that his best friend was dating Herr so they are just good friends, we spoke and everything was good, the following day in the morning this lady text me and tells me why I came to break that guys heart, the guy told the lady that I had come to break up with him, that I told him I found another man, I never said anything like that, why was my guy lying? He barely showers and Im afraid he barely feeds my son when Im away at work. When I ask him about it hes adamant that he still wants to be with me for the long haul and that he still loves me the way that he did when we met, which I feel so bad for doubting but its just so hard not to when things change like that. We have had sex, one time. I do far too many things for him. And I get it, hes never been through the same things but I expect that. Im slowly giving up but everytime i try to let go he acts like he rlly loves me and he wants me back. Writing can help you discover if youre expecting too much, or if your boyfriend stopped making an effort because your relationship doesnt mean much to him. You deserve to be told that you are beautiful, you deserve to be shown concern, you deserve respect. Why should women do all the work no they shouldnt it should be a mutual thing. I decided to pull back and just sit and watch. I didnt even realise I was expecting the bare minimum until it hit me while I was laying in bed after he hadnt messaged me all day because he was busy playing his game. But now that he has you he sees he doesnt have to try anymore. That gives a clear instruction on how they can help meet your needs. I know youre ignoring me, but I just want to know why or what I did to you? If you I dont want to lose him,i made a mistake and have learnt to trust him now! I allowed his lack of effort to continue for far too long. I felt like I would never find anyone else who would want me, this douche bag was as good as I was ever going to get. The lady was there, I was so angry, I wanted to punch her for lying tto me, but my guy was protecting her, he was even telling me to live his house, he humiliated me in front of her, he came last week to my place and tried explaining things, he even spent the night at my house, I feel so stupid, because he is not putting any effort to fix things between us, I feel so stupid for letting him spent the night in my house, why do I still love him even after he has clearly heart broken me, will I ever move from this nightmare? His complaint is that no matter what he does is never enough and that I dont contribution anything. at the same time, I am wondering why should i wait for him to initiate, why not agree that i pay half of the dinner since i am an independent woman who believes in equality. I assumed I was losing my shit and being too emotional, but its the 70 hr work week and the MBA When you go without sleep for extended periods of time, you start developing symptoms that look similar to depression. He tries to make me think Im crazy when I talk him about it. He sends me photos while he is out with them. He didnt even make an effort to see me or plan anything the week before he went out of town. hes never romantic, never takes me anywhere spontaneously it just goes on. I do really love him even we just got together. I know this might sound silly compared to all of yours. Its been almost two years and weve been inseparable ever since but lately it seems like something has changed. Is it too much to expect from a boyfriend to ask out his girlfriend one a month? It breaks my heart not talking to him and hearing about his day but I know this was for the best. It can certainly take a negative toll on your relationship (and your self-esteem) if you constantly have to repeat yourself, you cant help but feel your S.O. Hes lives far from me so our relationship was based off of ft. We would stay up all night on the phone and talk and then he slept during the day but he sometimes would call me. Now I am sitting alone in my room crying and reading online articles about how to feel better about myself. Never happened. We do not even live together and he puts no effort, and I think throughout the years it would get worse if we get married, or live together. Even sent follow up warnings and he still didnt do anything this Valentines Day. I asked him why he didnt and I wasnt yelling I only needed just an explanation. I really love him but he is not doing anything to build connections. This helps me to decide that I cant wear rose colored glasses with my current relationship .thanks for helping me see what I have to remove from my life . Dont ever think you are alone btw! He has made me realize a lot of my flaws and made me seek my inner self to understand why I am the way I am. He will never be that boyfriend ever again. But refuses to do that for me. Of course you want him to make an effort to wine and dine You will end up hating yourself. If I try to tell him how much I care he insists I dont. I feel like he is not making me a priority in his life. I understand where you are at with this.. We were friends for about 2 years before I gave him a shot and when we were still just friends he would try to spend as much time with me as possible and hangout all the time. Works always. Three weeks in he moved in with me and then the coronavirus pandemic hit and our romance took a nosedive. He is the type of person who has to be in control of everything, and I feel like when I suggest things for us to do together he shuts me down, but if any of his friends suggest the same thing he is game. 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Dont think what Im asking for too much he stopped giving me attention expect from a coworker not...
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