Ok. You can choose to believe what you want, naturally. To give you all an example I will use myself because I honestly couldnt care less what you think about me. I find guys who sleep around to be disgusting also, but they aren't of any interest to me because I am a straight male. People please keep in mind, God made Average for a reason. And there you have it. I say this all the time! The only difference will be in how you now choose to perceive her and how you handle that perceptionThis article isnt trying to say it is right or wrong, good or bad, or whatever when it comes to promiscuity. One of the things you notice is that seperate from the incels and terpers is a demographic of dudes who could get casual sex or FWB's but don't want them. Im not condoning it but I think we should keep an open mind about it. It doesnt make good sense. Means mentally you are stronger. Still, I've never cheated on anyone, not out of restraint, but out of genuine sexual loyalty. Studs work for every notch in there belt. Employers, colleges, every institution we have asks about past because it matters. Thank you, Lord, for writing my name in Your Lambs Book of Life and sealing me with Your Holy Spirit! If she shows herself to be dysfunctional and unable to maintain a healthy relationship, then again walk away. social fabric as a nation. You feel it might reflect on her character and increase her chances of cheating on you? They want a woman who has chosen Personally, the number of guys dated doesnt equal number bedded. So lets be perfect in a less than perfect world and provide a few undeniable examples: Your RENT is due and it is $800 and you only have $620Do you have the right or wrong amount??? Including that her family knows of this. Ive been through it, luckily with no children involved, and Ive known others whove gone through. they resort back to their network of past sex partners, or start going I believe this because I have been with someone that had many many partners. And them giving it to you doesnt have to mean they were cheating. It was about not wanting to be holding hands or walking down the street with a female and having dudes walking by that shes slept with or the possibility of them making any comments butwhat dude can say theyve only been with a handful of women. Love isnt about sex. Who you allow inside yourself matters. Im sure /your/ marriage will be different though. Cheers for the educuation, random 17-year-old. I agree with that statement, I do not agree that this is due to a high number of sexual partners. Get yourself a virgin problem solved.If this man doesnt want to judge women on their number of sexual partners then let him do that.Let him live. You're a victim of western purity culture, where a woman's value is measured by how few men she'e slept with. In a romantic sense any woman who sleeps around is unattractive to me. Either way thank you for allowing me to share . toss out the American System of justice including the very notion of Exploring a little bit and being willing to learn can make you a better lover. Its difficult. Sorry, bro. Lets say it was you in their spot. Most women judge good young men fa they age that aint been in so many relationships with out friendship first. As Oprah said (excuse me if I misquote) If you know better, do better. I guess it really doesnt matter. You said it in your comment Jeraldelmcclane women who are unable to stay connected emotionally to their husbands. Big breasts which are an indication of youth (because old ones sag), long hair which is a sign of health (because malnourished people have brittle hair that breaks off), hourglass figure, high cheek bones, and pouty lips (all signs of high estrogen or fertility). There are many women who dont give it up and are still disrespected by men they go out on dates with, even if they look good on paper. Some guys value women with a low number, or who choose their partners sparingly. Whores will always be Whores no matter how you look at it. I agree with you completely, and applaud you for being able to be abstinent again. Would you REALLY want to buy that car after you heard that? Either your a virgin and done sucked so many dicks or your not a virgin and hjad sex with alot of people. Nothing wrong with not desiring a woman with a dicey past, but as I pointed out in my previous example, is that really worth walking away from a woman who has become a person that you love and have connected with? Whats up bro? Also, realize that the author is not talking about a woman whos been ridden like the town bike. It's four times the number of people that would be acceptable in order for you to expect virginity from anyone else. Of course orgasms will be fine. I believe the average male has a high sex drive, created to be the leader/pursuer.. I had to change my ways in order to fit into society or else I would be an outcast and forever alone. Not sure if she is clued into how I've only had one sexual partner as again I am terrified to bring up this conversation about each of our amount of sexual partners. I think it opens up the mind to think past a selected numerical value that is supposed to be moral and fitting of all positions and start asking questions to seek who the other is on a much deeper level in order to find a partner that is truly worthy of spending life with. them based on the fact she considers him to be the worthy one if you will. That scares me more than anything else. You can't have it both ways. Our passed has shaped our futures, so when a person refuses to tell you about their past, it's time to move on, because they have just shaped both of your futures, by refusing to open up. Your notions of beta this and slut that are so divorced from reality where do I begin. However, you chose to explain a womans promiscuity with abuse, mental issues, and low self-esteem. All in all I just dont feel we should be looking at the amount of men How very sad. Depends on if the wear and tear is being done physically or mentally. Amen brother. Statistically, men and women who have only had one sexual partner have stayed together longer than others. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: Imperial House, 2nd Floor, 40-42 Queens Road, Brighton, East Sussex, BN1 3XB, Taking a break or withdrawing from your course, Official Dental Hygiene and Therapy (Oral Health Science) 2023 Entry Thread. You say what happened to encouraging people to do better, but how is continuing the practice of judging people on their past a good thing? whether or not she has a(n) std(s)) is very important concerning the number of partners that shes had but if a woman tells a man that shes slept with 3 men and neglects to add the 0 at the end of that, shes being dishonest and that violates the principle of another post that you made (4 keys to starting and maintaining a successful relationship) previously. Thats deepmakes me feel foolish for rejecting some females because of my insecurity about their sexual past. I dont know, it just seems you have left a lot of factors out. This is because the kind of ppl who would say things like "dating a slut" view a woman sleeping with others casually as this terrible dirty thing. So your ahead in a sense. yeah of course it matter because a hoe is a hoe. Part of that process takes proper communication. That is precisely why He came to to do what we couldn't do for ourselves. I just still strongly believe that this idea of letting that number dictate where the relationship can or will not go is not the best approach in life. I agree that you should not settle, and that finding someone you connect with and are compatible with is obtainable (as well as one of the keys to a great relationship). I AM SORRY, AS WOMENWE MUST HOLD OURSELVES TO HIGHER STANDARDSWHEN WE BEGAN TO LOSE OUR MORALS AND ACT LIKE MEN IS WHEN WE STARTED TO BE MORE LIKELY TO GET SHOT THAN MARRIED. She just revealed something from her past and instead of embracing who she is today you are making a choice to hold it over her head and view her as the woman she once was. Just look at them in the same light. with his friend who was also married and he wanted to be with her. Ask her about how she views your relationship, and what she is hoping it can be. assuming they're not self-destructive (no, "lots of sex" isn't automatically self-destructive), in my experience, they're not only better and more adventurous in bed, they're passionate, supportive, loving, kind, and ambitious. The first was with a woman who had lost her virginity to her bf not long before we got together. It is one thing if you say I dont want to be with a woman who is currently promiscuous vs. overlooking a woman who currently does not engage in all that, but once upon a time she was on that path. Shadow Hunter-December 12, 2022. Secondly, men want to marry women who have not slept with a At the end of the day I am grateful for her in my life but it still bothers me every day getting it off my chest and hearing other guys in similar situation really let me see it in another light instead of it sitting in the pit of my stomach and getting rotten. I suggest maybe going to a counselor or therapist that can help you both get through this. and it goes on. Her not telling you how many men she slept with before she ever knew you is not the same. so what this nigga is saying is, Its alright to marry a whore, right? It should be with the right partner, not with just some random Joe you meet at the pub. And Im not certain what state your from but getting divorced is not easy. Somebody who DIDNT want that, ever. People learn and grow from their experiences. Lastly all should value themselves because at the end of the day it is best for all to wait (though many of us struggle with it), so dont just put that on women. The past is relevant. Sometimes some of the same issues that are hurting that marriage are what contributed to that women even being promiscuous in the first place. Yet a man can have sex with 50 women and ejaculate in all of them and expect at least 50 lives in a year and knows damn well hes the father backed by 50 women also saying so! cant hold it against the woman I love. C) Two long-term sex partners, had sex a total of 100 times, and many were threesomes? Likewise, promiscuity is also very common in women with trauma in their past (e.g., rape, molestation, physical and emotional abuse, etc.). Regardless of what it was, it shouldnt matter. I raised up the point of abuse as just a way to point out that we have no idea what that a womans reasons are and we shouldnt judge. the best ones are extremely intelligent and driven. Another reader mentioned that the man may have the fear of bumping into a past sex partner, but theres also the fear that her past really hasnt passed. Nothing wrong with that. There are a lot more incidents which i wont get into for the sake of keeping this short. So many women who have waited seem to not be as open minded. The man may never know that these men were chosen by her respectively and a mutual feeling of attachment existed if he only looks at the number and views the wild party scene when none may have existed. Ive read a couple of your blogs, and I think youre a great writer with even greater things to say ! God did not create us to be WHORES, and I am referring to both Men and Women. For me I think that was the last straw I noticed myself, not eating, and being depressed I seeked out councelling and it was determined that this double standard, combined with verbal abuse over 9 years has made me clinically depressed..She has had councelling too now and is resolving all the damage previously caused by her previous encounters. The way i look at this, is it shouldnt matter how many partners she has. As far as Im concerned, he is the only man I can get sexually aroused by. To say she is damaged goods is a misnomer because you assume that her worth is completely controlled by her sexuality and how she uses it. Look at that women and realise that being a slut is not what men want. It shined light on a topic most people dont elaborate on. It seems that its not the case. Africa, over 60,000 years ago and migrate to all parts of our planet, women had He laid His life down for you and for me that we would not have to be separated from him because of our sinful ways and mind sets. Im 24 and I know better than that it dont matter wat happened to her its not an excuse to just sleep with a gang of men thats very un lady like and for a woman to do that is setting herself up to get a f*****g std. Thank you, Lord, for what you have done that we couldnt do for ourselves. And she is ten times prettier with larger breasts and better complected, better hair, better teeth, more intelligent, etc His wife would feel intimidated and feel she can not compete especially if the other woman dumped him and he had been in love with her. You can do that without ever knowing how many partners she had. So what do men typically like? I have self-esteem. It does matter how many men, a woman But it hurts me to know that the girl I care about so much is just a notch on so many bedposts. One should not strive to be perfect. Some may argue that it speaks to her character. Would you marry a girl who slept around? Wesley Pipes, calls out Kobe' lol you really took it there. I sure don't. Hello Stephan, thank you for answering me. Modern times, have My girlfriend who I am seeing right now has had sex with about 65 people or do I want that same wear and tear from sleeping with me 200 times?? They brag about it all the time when they want praise for being able to give birth. behavior about those numbers. Fifth So, I conclude that it IS relevant about women So I guess what I want to say is yes, you do have the right to sleep with anyone as long as youre safe, and I would never call you a slut or judge you etc.but please realise that you could eventually be causing pain in the future to someone who loves you dearly. I swear this world has turned into Sodom and Gomorrah all over again.. That little double-standard pointing finger that got as part of your hand needs to do a serious u-turn back to the purity? To people who are in love with someone that has had sex with Let her know your goal is to simply be better, and to have peace within yourself about this issue. you certainly would be a fool to expect that it wouldnt have I understand that women will drop you in a heart-beat these days and that relationships are just a way to pass the time until we can trade up, but as someone who has already made that mistake once, you should be prepared to prevent it the second or even third time around. Nothing you read or learn will help you. 1)Sexually Transmitted Diseases (Sex with lots of people increase the chance that you have them) Its not your fault. Alex, who exactly is the owner of this superior mind that you speak of? In my opinion once again Women should be winning, but because they are willing to accept this garbage and keep giving it up, Women are losing. She doesn't feel that she should have to settle down, and she thinks it's unfair that other women degrade her for this. 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